Fun! Fun! Screech! Halt! Resume Fun!

Today started out great! I got to school early and my greeting towards the Elementary School Principal was warmly received and returned (warmer than last week anyway). I had an easy day of self-introductions ahead of me. The first sign of trouble should have been the adjustment to my schedule. The third class was going to be cut short by 10 minutes. This really wasn’t a problem because it meant I just had a little bit shorter question and answer round.


First class went off without a hitch. The kids were excited to see me, the teacher was welcoming and participatory, a good time had by all!

Second class went equally hitchless. The kids were even happier to see me, the teacher was very welcoming and participatory, the other teacher in the room played along as well, we sang “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes”. We had fun. The kids didn’t want me to leave.

Third class. Oh Third class, why did you forsake me? The teacher began by explaining to me how the class would be cut short by 10 minutes. I already knew this, so the reiteration in Japanese confused me and I began to think the ten minutes was being cut from the beginning.

“I should come back in ten?”

She didn’t understand completely and said, “Yes.” Then proceeded to lead me into class.

She didn’t say anything after that. I was free to do as I pleased, and it pleased me to introduce myself and give my spiel about myself. The teacher began to grade papers. She didn’t pay any attention to the class or my presentation. When a kid asked me a question in Japanese, and I didn’t understand it, I usually would turn to the teacher and they would give me some help. She graded papers. When I interrupted her, it was like pulling teeth with a slippery banana instead of pliers. The teeth were coming from an ill-tempered shark. I managed to get through the routine without too much more trouble. During the Q&A she was a little more helpful, but generally I got the feeling that I wasn’t wanted in her classroom. What have I done to offend her so? I get the feeling she has never liked my being at the school. She is always cold towards me. I think she may be just a very serious person in general. The class was much quieter than the other two I had had prior. Maybe she rules over all her subjects with an iron chalk holder and they are wary of stepping out of line.

Oh, well!

After class, I went outside and joined the kiddos for recess. I had fun running around and learning some moves on the bars. One of the kids kept near me and told all the other kids “Keegan-sensei day yo!” “This is Keegan-sensei.” I don’t know why… I believe all the other kids know who I am. I also had a girl hang on my arm for about five minutes (seemed like an hour).

Lunch came early as well today, since class ended early. I am not sure as to the reason for the premature nature of the aforementioned events, but my flexibility is world renowned, and as such, I am not phased by the assorted simian contrivances being heaved into my day’s perceived agenda.

After lunch, a Noh performance was available to watch. I had been told by the lunch lady about the performance, while we were eating lunch, but I didn’t understand that it was today. The Vice Principal told me about it after lunch and said I shouldn’t miss it. I began to busy myself on my computer until the appropriate time to go view the show. A little while later the lunch walked by my desk and said something about the Noh presentation. I thought she told me t’was time to go, so I followed her upstairs to the room the feat was to be in. In this room there were a few girls changing into costume, as well as the lunch lady and another female teacher. She told me to come back in ten minutes, since they were in the middle of changing. Why did the lunch lady tell me follow her? How embarrassing! A short while later, I was informed that the Noh I was going to watch was a teaching session in preparation for the actually show on Friday night. I went up to the room at the appropriate time and watch a Noh-sensei instruct the pupils in the art of Noh.

Waiting

Instruct, instruct, instruct, instruct...

After much instruction, he gave a sample performance.

I couldn’t understand most of it, but it definitely sparked my interest in Noh and now I want to go see a professional Noh staging. The actor was very precise in his movements and every thing he did was dramatic without being campy or hamy. He walked in a way that is similar to the Moonwalk, but forwards instead of backwards. I had to leave early in order to get to the Junior High School, so my appetite for Noh shall remain whetted.

A bunch of kids were getting reprimanded for something today in the Teacher’s room at the Junior High. I heard the Principal yelling and then speaking very quietly, the way a parent does when they want you to know that they are so mad at you, they are going to make you strain to hear their words, in order to make sure you understand your place. After the yelling and hushed tones, I heard a lot of sniffling and whenever I turned around, all the other teachers were standing around the culprits looking unhappy. At the end of the reprimand, they each got a bonk on the head and with a few more hushed and stern words, they were sent on their way. I had no classes to teach at the Junior High today because they had some other things to do besides English. I was "free" to "work" on my own. Snooze-fest!

I made 130 or so copies of a worksheet I made:

 Top down

Side view

To close this chapter, let's view some pictures of my hot mess of a computer:

There is really nothing to be said, that hasn't been expressed by those depressing photos.

Worksheets galore!

Pick the correct letter based on your abilities

Add "It" "for" and "to" to make complete sentences

I didn't need to make this one because the class
will be passed this by the time I come back to their class.
It was still fun to make!
Make two sentences using "Let's" and "Use this"

Learning "must" and "mustn't"
Figure out whether to use "must" or "mustn't"for each sentence.

Ce n'est pas une feuille de calcul.
I just like the picture.
:)

Lots of work and a meeting

Last night I should have finished a worksheet for the 3rd year students. I thought I would ave some time to work on it before classes today and I didn't feel like doing it last night, so I watched Shrek 3. I should have done the worksheet. Shrek 3 wasn't awful (wasn't great either) but I had class first thing in the morning and I didn't really have enough time to finish the worksheet on time. Luckily the teacher gave me a little time to finish it up. I think the kids liked it. It's difficult to figure out what they should know and what they will have trouble with. I don't want my worksheets to be condescending, but I also want them to be fun yet understandable. My brand of humor is hard to convey in this medium. I had fun anyway and was tasked with creating more worksheets for Monday's class as well. I was able to leave school early today because I had a meeting to attend downtown. The other ALTs in the area met up with our coordinator, a representative from Heart, and a liaison from the Board of Education. We had a interesting demonstration with a couple example lessons and we were given some time to describe our working environments and interactions.

Then I came home.

I need a new computer. I need a new computer before I rip this one apart with my fists. It is quite old now and the screen's hinges are busted. It looks as though it is about to detach from itself at any moment. On top of its aesthetic deficiencies, it is also becoming some what of a curmudgeon. A curmudgeon with a hearing  problem. I ask it, by way of clicking, to do a simple task: open a folder. The computer proceeds to run the fan and use 100% of its processing power to do nothing. Eventually the folder may open, and if it does, I might be treated to a glimpse of the folders contents. Most of the time the folder is "empty". This is factually incorrect, since all my folders are chuck full of goodies, yet the window remains blank. Fury rising, I attempt to close the folder and try again, as the majority of you would most likely do.

This is wrong.

The computer ignores me. Flat out ignores me. I can click the little red "x" box in the top right corner from now until the End Times are upon us ( I hear it's nigh) and nothing will happen. I can open the task manager, (maybe, the computer might not listen to that command either) and try to force quit the window. That sometimes works. Most of the time the computer spends its energy running its fan and inexplicably getting piping hot. The fan is always running at top speed yet it heats up. I am afraid of what might happen if the fan were to stop working...

If I can get one folder open and view its contents, the moon and the stars must be aligned! After I clean up the blood from the sacrifice I had to perform, take the posters of Beelzebub of off the wall, clean up the candle wax and chalk drawings, and try to fill the hole in my chest where my soul used to be, I can try to access one of the folders contained therein the folder I was successfully able to open. Dark Lord help me if the file I want isn't in the folder I try first. For if I make such a grave error, and try to push the "back" button then retrace my steps, my infernal contraption will give me the biggest finger it knows how to give, and produce a blank screen were there once were files.

Repeat the dance of the 
(force quit+task manager+waiting game)(pull hair+sigh deeply+try to keep right eye from twitching)/ thoughts of homicidal rampage=?

If you can solve the above equation, give MIT a call (617) 253-4381 or drop them an e-mail, they will probably give you a scholarship.

Don't even get me started on the internet!

Alright, since you got me started, I'll let you into my world of agony and defeat. The internet used to be my friend. We could spend hours talking, sometimes deep into the night, staring at each other, not even saying a word. Pages would load and my scroll function on my track pad would always be there for me in my times of scrolly-need.

Was it something I said?

My computer and the internet are treating me with forced cordiality, at best! It's like I made a rape joke about their disabled, dying, mother; a joke where during the rape she gets diseased, and people stand around pointing and laughing for the duration of the incident. I told that joke, and the internet is an indentured servant that is in charge of reading me bedtime stories and bathing me. They have to do their job, they can't quit because of the indentured nature of their servitude, and their job entails them to do tasks which are generally lovingly performed, so they do it, but they do the bare minimum and they never talk to me. The internet hates me with its eyes, yet scrubs my back and reads "Goodnight Moon" while the lights are turned down to "dim". It never does the funny voices in the book and it doesn't care if the bath water is tepid, scalding, or dirty. It goes through the motions and then leaves me, without saying a word. It probably slams the door and knocks my favorite painting off the wall, cracking the glass and the frame. The frame is as unique as the one-of-a-kind Renoir it encases; made by Antillean monks out of endangered iguana hides, the monks make only one frame every hundred years because they use discarded scales only from five legged iguanas. That frame, that's the frame the internet knocks off the wall when it skulks out of the house.

What in Holy Hell did I do, or say, in actuality to incur such a wrath?

Your guess is as good as mine.





Don't tell my computer, but as soon as I get paid, I'm buying a new one...

Working machine!

I was able to work for a solid 8 hours today! I had 5 classes to teach and the sixth period was spent working on a work sheet for tomorrow's classes. The work sheets I posted previously were a big hit! I can't wait to finish the one I'm working on now!

Hasta la!

Worksheets and a nice story.

The one I'm using for the school.
Click for bigger!

The "fun" one
click to embiggen

From the book I teach out of:

There was an old shrine in a village. One day, a storm came and washed the shrine away. The next day people looked for the shrine, but they only found a big hole. People looked into the hole. It was deep and dark. 

Someone called into it, “Hello? Can anyone hear me?” 

No echo came back. 

A boy threw a stone into the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. 

People heard about the hole on TV. They came from far away to see it. 

One day a man said, “I’ll build a new shrine for you, but you must give me the hole.” The people of the village agreed. The man advertised the hole as a new dump. People gave money to the man and dumped things into the hole. They dumped garbage, test papers, old love letters, and so on. Trucks came from many places. They dumped industrial waste, nuclear waste, and many other things. 

A few years went by but the hole did not fill up. People stopped worrying about garbage because they now had the perfect dump. The sea and the sky became clean and beautiful. The village became a city. 

One day a young man was working on the roof of a new building. 

He heard a voice from the sky. “Hello? Can anyone hear me?” it said. 

He looked up, but he only saw the blue sky. He started working again. Something fell down from the sky and hit the roof near him, but he did not notice. 

It was the stone!

Mega Weekend Update Party!

Friday

I taught at the middle school. It was fun as always! I taught only third year students today and we learned about:

“It is~~for ~~ to~~~”

Example!: “It is difficult for me to keep from smiling when I’m telling that funny joke, you know the one about the horse and the bartender.”

During one of my breaks, the head of the English department came over and asked me to prepare a lesson for next week’s first year students(!). Oh boy! I get to create my first work sheet! I’ll post it next! I spent a good amount of time writing it up, but I started to wander into something a little inappropriate for this school, so I split it into a separate worksheet that is just for all my faithful readers. I’ll post that later as well. I asked the Sensei if she wanted pictures as well or just words. Pictures got the go-ahead so I set to work finishing the copy in order to let myself know what I would be drawing. I thought about using pictures from the interwebs, but I decided I wanted to draw them instead. Using MS Paint. Ha!

They came out quite camp and I like ‘em that way! I’m sure you’ll like them as well.

I tried to make the questions funny or interesting enough so the kids would enjoy doing the worksheet. I hope they realize I drew everything, instead of assuming they are doing the same stale old worksheet the samurai’s used to work on back in the Edo period. Dirt roads, horse drawn carts, bushido law, and this worksheet. No way! This is a modern masterpiece work, lovingly handcrafted by a true artisan of the language of the Queen.

Lunch was pretty fun and tasted okay for the most part. The noodles came in a plastic bag and were heated prior to my receiving them. It tasted as though the plastic flavor leached into the noodles… Also, the ika-age was cold and greasy…

Give your camera to the students and they take "candid moments" shots.

After lunch I had the rest of the day free so I got back to creating the strikingly good looking worksheet I was conjuring up from the greatest depths of my inspired psyche. I was approached by an English Sensei to grade some “What I did for Summer Break” papers. Yay! I love grading papers! I’m a weirdo, I know. After the grading concluded, I went to discuss with her some of my amendments. We got to talking about some of the places the kids had gone to and a little place called “Summerland” came up.

I wanted to link to the Summerland website, but the English version of the site does such an injustice to the park, they really should think about hiring me to write some copy for them.

How about wikipedia? Wikipedia only has an article if you use WikiJapan.

Maybe try GoogleTranslate? A little better...

I have actually been there! I went when I first came to Japan, in 1991! I thought someone had told me it had been close down, but apparently it lives on! I think I want to go back…

I didn’t have speech practice with that guy today because he had a student council meeting to attend. That’s okay, there is always next week!

Plaque awarded for some outstanding achievement in the category of a sport

 
After school I went to a cake store near the school to buy Asuka a cake: Then I went home and got ready to go out for Asuka’s Birthday Party in Roppongi. All night clubbing is what I thought I was in for… Another long weekend? Hopefully I could ride the trains home successfully this time. I reserved Sunday for my stay-in-bed-resting-all-day day. I got home a little too late to make the train I wanted to, but I was able to make it to the station on time to get another train and not be that much later in my arrival. It turns outs this didn't matter because I didn't check my e-mail before I left the house. It turns out Asuka had sent me a message letting me know she was going to be late by at least a half an hour. I showed up on time at the meeting spot at 7:35pm.

She didn't arrive until about 8:15pm.

Oh, well. At least I didn't get stood up! We went to dinner at at tiny little restaurant near the station. When we got there, I asked the maitre 'd if he would put Asuka's cake in the fridge. He obliged me and we ate our meal.

Beef stew and Caesar salad

Blurry enjoyment

Birthday girl had a Spumoni

Seafood soup and Margherita pizza

After the meal I requested the cake and the waitress brought it to us. In the box. They weren't going to allow us to enjoy her birthday cake at the restaurant.

:(

We left and decided to go back to her house in Chiba instead of going clubbing all night because her other friends bailed on her and we thought sleeping and hanging out the next day would be better for our health.

When we got to her house her parents were still awake! I really like her mom and dad, so this was a great treat. We had a mini-party for Asuka

Birthday cake!

Snazzy spectacles!

Okaa-san wears 'em too!

Make a wish!

Okaa-san made this in a flash when she heard I was coming over.
"Kee-chan Welcome"

then went to bed.


Saturday

We got up the next afternoon and had a nice big lunch. Okaa-san is an incredibly skilled chef and she whipped up all this food in less than an hour!

Chef and the Sous

Tempura and seaweed. With green tea.

Such a bounty!

Ika and nasu, or, squid and eggplant

Tamago and chisai sakana, or, egg and tiny fish

Pickled and preserved bits of fruit and veg

Soba and okra

Onigiri! It has red beans in it because we're celebrating a birthday!

Okaa-san taught me how to make "matcha." Matcha is expensive green tea of a very high quality. It is made with special implements:

"Pay attention!"
"I'm mesmerized..."

I like tea!

Sometimes, one needs to add a personal touch to one's creations

We had some left over mini desserts from two nights ago.

Yum!

After lunch Okaa-san left for work so we sat around watching youtube videos and just relaxing. We tried to muster the energy to go out and do something, but we never got around to it. We made dinner for ourselves and her Dad, who was due to arrive home from Osaka at 9pm. We started it late so we finished making dinner at around 10:15! It was as fun to make

Whisking the white sauce with flair

White sauce on top of eggplant, sauteed onions and ginger, rice,
and seafood with cheese melted on top.

Potato salad with slices of bell pepper

as it was tasty!

Veggies with mushrooms and some bits of meat thrown in for good measure

They call me "'tater salad"

Finito!

Lovely!

A glass of wine, some slightly burnt fish, what more could one ask for?

During dinner I had my first drink of alcohol in over a year! I don't like drinking anymore because I don't like the effect of the alcohol on my brain and I'm trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Also, I feel it is too expensive for me, and since I don't like the effect anyway, I can't justify the purchase. Otoo-san had purchased two bottles of wine on his walk home with the intent of sharing a bottle with me. The last time I had visited we drank every night and had a good time bonding. He wasn't aware of my status on-the-wagon, so I felt it would be prudent of me to partake of a glass, since he had gone through so much trouble. I'm glad he bought wine at 7-11, because then I couldn't tell if it had just been a while since I had tasted chardonnay, or it was the fact that it came from 7-11, but it wasn't too palatable, so I was fine with just one glass.

After dinner, since it was quite late, we retired for the evening.


Sunday
The next morning we got up at 7:30 and got in the car to venture into the day. The fam had made plans to visit Okaa-san's mom in a city far away, and invited me along. Sadly, I was unable to join them since they would be returning on Monday morning, and I have work to go to. They dropped me off at the nearest station, and with a gift package of giant grapes, they sent me on my way.

I made it home on all the right trains this time!

I boarded my first train and began playing "Kirby's Dreamland" on my old school Gameboy. On the trip to meet Asuka, on Friday, I had played through and beaten the game in about 45 minutes. This time I was playing on hard mode and I beat the game before I reached my home station! Achievement! The last few bosses were really tough, but nothing I couldn't handle!

I was relaxing in my apartment just now, minding my own business, reading the interwebs, when I heard a ring of the old doorbell. I answered and was greeted by a shy man whom I thought had uttered something along the lines of: "Sorry, wrong house..." because he looked shocked to see me answer the door, and he left. Ten seconds later, another chiming of the bells. Open the door and am greeted by Shy Guy and an accomplice. Accomplice extends a bag containing a book toward me, and upon further review, I understand what jig this is. And let me tell you, the jig is up! Proselytizers!

No, Thank you!

Have a nice day!

Discovery: "Deals" are not always deals!

Waking at noon has its advantages on days like today.

It was already raining when I woke up, so I didn’t have to worry about being disappointed by the rain taking ruining my day’s plans. Other people may have risen at a normal hour, 8 o’clock or so, and would have started to plan their day.

Then the rain comes and destroys their plans.

Sadness sets in.

I awoke to the pleasant sound of rain on my windows. I had yet to make plans; therefore, the as yet to be hatched plans were not affected by the precipitation.

Smiles all around the apartment!

I played some Skype games with Joanne and then showered and met up with Paul for dinner. We walked to a store to meet with Sunshine, then carried on, making our way to Den Yakiniku. We were interested in trying their All-You-Can-Eat for 1500yen deal, but this deal is only offered on the weekdays.

While you and I know Thursday is, in fact, a weekday, the good intentioned food purveyors at Den believe Thursday to be a mid-week weekend day. Don’t start with me about how this Thursday happened to be a National Holiday, so it was considered by most everyone to be a mid-week weekend day.

I’m not gonna fall for your propaganda!

It turns out the 1500yen deal actually isn’t that much of a deal. We ate enough food to satiate our beastly appetites and ended up only paying 1100yen each. I had been to Den before, with Yuki, and we had the All-You-Can-Eat deal they have on the weekends. Two hours of uninterrupted devouring bliss for the so illegally low it-flaunts-its-illicit-nature-in-the-face-of-the-magistrate-while-wearing-a-big-pink-tutu price of 2600yen. This turns out to be a slap in the face of morality when you consider you can fill yourself for less than half of that bargain-basement “steal”. I thought maybe the All-You-Can-Eat deals were special because they included access to the rice/curry/ox-tail soup bar while eating a la carte denied you the divine tastes of cumin and meat over the treasure of the fields or the liquid after-workings of the boiled remnants of a cow’s fly-swatter. This was not so! You could enjoy as much rice and curry or lightly flavored soup-water as you could muster the courage to gorge yourself on, no matter what you purchased! And so we did. Spicy Kalbi beef was the favorite that evening, sharing the table with some onions, green bell peppers, and some leaner beef cut into thin strips.

Meat with a side of meat

Veggies! One's trying to escape. In vain!

 

Action shot!

Paul and I walked Sunshine home, then returned to our respective apartments. I’ve spent the remainder my evening perusing the pages of cSlacker.com and talking on skype.

Nightie nightness!