221 Baker St.
London, England
Scott Free
*****Rd.
Walnut Creek, CA 94598
My Dear Son,
‘Twas, thereabout, a fortnight ago, I was engaged in a deep state of blissful nocturnal slumber, when a noise suddenly awoke me. I instantly surmised that this interruption was the result of my two, supposedly domesticated, feline house guests, involved in a ferocious spat, with each other, in the vicinity of my back porch. Arising rapidly, I took flight to investigate, with a mind to put an end to said ruckus. Upon arriving at the porch, I quickly surveyed the situation and with my powers of evaluation and deduction, having found the cats brawling behind the clothes cleansing apparatus, I forged a plan on the spot. With haste I implemented my scheme; I hurled my forehead at the knife-edged corner of a shelf, above the machine, then rebounded, flat on my back, to the floor, resulting in the instantaneous return of peace to my humble domicile.
Sir David Conkhead Doyle ‘04
Hey, I remember this! Your dad was a funny dude. Now where are the Albino Panthers? I wanted to know where to get coffee from a deadly creature. :-(
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